How to deal with a heartbreak

How to deal with a heartbreak

How to forget faster your former love, if you had to part with your ex-beloved? How to remove the pain off the broken heart? At least once in the life, we all had to pass such test and get this experience. There is no big difference whether it is a brake after short-time period in love or after a long-time family relationship. Neither it is whether you are a girl or a boy, a woman or a man. Apparently, the common opinion is that the girl or a woman is suffering more and men are always guilty. A girl and a woman is more week, people say, and they are victims in “the men’s world”. Contrary to this popular belief, when a relationship is in trouble, it is men who may suffer the most. Let’s admit that this is the big trouble for both women and men, and all depends on personalities and circumstances. Psychologically, collapse in relations hits your habits, sexual needs, your stereotypes of life. Very often the brake of relationship makes effect on material situation that obviously will become poor. Be ready for material endeavors too.

First of all, it is better for you to brake all contacts with your former beloved. Later, maybe you will build good platonic relations with your former lover, but you have to take a pause now. Relax and chill out. You just need to give yourself time to adapt to new situation. Focus on different things, be active in the business, home affairs or physical exercises. Try to avoid places where you were together, don’t answer to his or her calls, don’t make initiative to remind about yourself. Simply, stop thinking about it! It’s tempting to keep reminders of the person or relationship around you: photos, letters, gifts. Remember that such objects are also a vivid and constant reminder of the relationship and as such can also be very painful. While it might not be necessary to purge every reminder of the person, give thought to whether having such items around is preventing you from moving on, and to the extent to which it might be best to remove them from view. Get rid of this inner torture that is like a black hole takes you deeper inside more and more. No good. If you allow it, you will surely have serious psychological problems to cure for a long time. The activity is like a lightning rod, a valve for letting off the steam. Engaging in activities you used to enjoy, even if you can’t fully enjoy them yet, will help reconnect you to your core self and the person you were before the breakup. It should transform the negative energy accumulated in you into something new and better.
You will be changed and you have to be changed. It is rising you to new heights. For changes inside, change your cloths. Buy something new, put on bright and fashionable cloths and take care how you look like. That helps you to restore the self-confidence. The heartache weakens with time and it will go away. The positive way of thinking is very important. Every disease, every pain must be gone, the time is healing. Sooner you recover from it, the better. And you will become psychologically stronger and steadier.

Then, allow vacations for yourself and forget about limitations and forbidden things. For the time being. For a week or so, no longer. Don’t stay face to face with your grief, meet friends, go to some new places together, have new positive impressions! Good movie, theater play or show will divert you from self-eating and you will see the situation under different angle. The participation of your closest friends in your troubles make you understand who are them and what they mean for you. In many ways they will be right, because more likely they will try to assist you. Listen to them. The communication should not be limited by your relatives and best friends. The instinct to withdraw can be powerful after a breakup, but it should only last for a limited amount of time. By avoiding the people who love and respect you, you are depriving yourself of their caring, love and concern, which are important for your self-esteem and moral recovery. Even if you don’t feel fully up to it, connect with people who care about you. You may ask them to avoid discussing the breakup, if you prefer not to talk about it.
New acquaintances are necessary and very useful. Who knows, maybe you will meet somebody very interesting and important at this very moment. There is the right expression: Fight fire with fire. Of course, you shouldn’t throw yourself into dating when your heart is still freshly broken. Give yourself a reasonable deadline for the rest and go on once the fixed by you time has passed.
Less ego! Of course, your ego and self-esteem are already hurting, but do not make it worse. Using negative self-talk after a painful rejection is similar to break your leg and then decide to hit it with a hammer. You feel pity and you ask yourself all the time: how he or she was able to make it to you? Why and what for? You did not deserve it! You loved and you got a hit to the vulnerable spot. It is not fare! Your ego and proud was under attack, you were betrayed. Your selfish feelings are destructive! Try to imagine the situation generally, your injured vanity apart. Anger, self-pity and self-scorn, these feelings are painful. When you mix them all together, you suffer three times as much. You feel a confusion as well. One minute you are angry with your lover, then you are angry at the whole world, because it is so cruel and unjust to you, and then you are upset, you feel his or her inadequacies. In short, you feel an emotional catastrophe. After the break you feel an emotional pain. Although it seems to be a big problem, in fact there are two problems: your relationship came to the end; and you feel pain. You buy two problems for the price of one. Perhaps you can do anything with the first problem, but you have a lot of options to cope with the second.

The psychologists advise these steps how to relieve the mental pain and move on.
Make an agreement with yourself. While it is end the relationship, only you can cope with it. Nobody else then you. No one will do it for you, so you have to take responsibility for the problem yourself. Nothing will change to the better, until you decide to resist and start doing it immediately! Give the commitment to yourself that you absolutely refuse to feel the emotional pain.
Then, take yourself as you are without any condition. Stop blaming yourself for what happened. Of course, you are not perfect, everyone has flaws. Accept the fact that you are ordinary human being, and there is no law that orders you to be perfect. You have the right to have weaknesses and shortcomings. Accept the it is, unconditionally. Life is often unfair: good things happen with “bad people” and bad things happen with “good people”. It goes this way. Jumping back and forth and screaming loudly about this, you do not change the order of things. Just accept the fact that life can always be better. So stop complaining and learn to live with it. Unconditionally accept your ex. Like anyone else your former can make mistakes. All people have an incurable tendency to commit mistakes. Most people can figure out what those were rather quickly. Do not tempt as it is to brood and ruminate about what happened. Once you have determined what were your mistakes, stop thinking about them. Going over them again and again will only make you feel worse and delay your emotional recovery.

The longer you accumulate evil thoughts towards your ex, the longer you will feel anger and bitterness. Don’t idealize the person who dumped you. If the person hurt you so much, you have to change your point of view about this person. Just remember about his or her various flaws and how he or she was disgusting during the recent events. Romanticizing the person even further and dwelling on the good times will only make it harder and more painful to deal with the reality. You have to appoint your goals to achieve. Be active in finding new friends or, if you have the intention to be alone for a while, spend your time with maximum effect and profit for yourself. Give yourself an obligation to look for your own happiness and go to it step by step.
Following these advises will help you to cope with a break in the relationship, which is very important for you. They will help you stop feeling heartache and bitterness and allow you to recover fast from breakup, revive your self-esteem and continue your life in full.
This article is provided by Ukrainian Girls Online!

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